I am a mother…I have a son who is 1.5 year old. When my son was born everyone rejoiced…Its a boy! While i silently said to my self…its a mom! because the birth of a child is also the birth of a mother.
For the first 1-2 months all I could feel was the immense load of responsibility, lack of sleep, lack of peace, lack of space, pain in all parts of my body, fatigue …everything unpleasant. While I was happy to have a baby who was cuter than the word ‘cute’ could ever describe and more adorable than anyone could ever be, I was too consumed in the changes that he had brought in my life to notice that I was now a mother. As days passed by, and as I got adjusted to his demands and routine, I started to spend and actually enjoy sometime with him…but he was still just a cute baby who happened to be mine.
Then with time he started to learn to focus his gaze and I would find his gaze following me wherever I went. It was crazy I told myself, how could a 3-month old baby know I was his mother, I mean there were others who loved him equally his father, his grandmom and others. But the following continued. Then came a time when he started reaching out with his hands…touching my face…smiling, frowning, and then gradually laughing his tiny baby laugh…he was resopnding…not just to anyone…just me. He seemed to be saying, “I know you, you are my mother. We have a special bond.” I felt it then, slowly and steadily the feeling creeped in and it found home in the deepest part of my being – I was a mother.
I was made to realise this by my son, my tiny, cute baby who can still hardly say 3-4 words but can convey his love and complete trust with his simple getsures. I love the way he hugs me tight when I meet him after a gap of even a few hours, I love the way he runs to me when I open my arms to him, I love the way he snuggles up to me when he is sleepy, and I love the way he…I guess I love just every thing about him. He’s not just a cute baby anymore…he is my son!