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I’m not a home maker!

This summer I’m home and got nothing much to do except play with my baby and take care of him exactly the way I have been wanting to for a loooooong time. However, there are times when I sit back and analyse if this is how I want all my summers to be. And it was in between one of such analysis that the truth came to me. I’m very happy to be with my son (who is now 2.3 years old) and I’m very happy because for the first time my home is better managed and my family better fed than ever before, I’m happy that I have found time to get connected with my family with with whom I just had a passing relationship of one call in a few days.

I have also realised that I am not cut out for this role. I am not a home maker. I’m not a cook, as in I can cook, but it does not give me any special joy. I cannot go on decorating the house at length, I cannot go on depending someone else’s income to fulfill my wishes (Here I should point out that my husband will be very offended to hear this coz never in these 3 months has he ever made me feel unemployed).

I need to get out of the house, I need to meet people and I need cues around me to stimulate my thought process. When I was working I hardly had the time to blog for instance and I used to long for days when I could just browse the net, read about different things and write extensively. But if I look at the rate at which I have been blogging as compared to what it was while I was working its a hard reckoning! So I have realised this thing about my self that while I want to spend time with my family and do the best for people around me, I need to be in touch with the outside world.

So, I have made a promise to myself today that this is the only summer I am spending like this. I will make sure that I never lose touch with myself, my needs because until and unless I am happy with what I am doing I cannot make people around me happy.

 
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Posted by on May 11, 2010 in Daily Life, Family

 

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Entering a New Life!

I hardly remember enjoying the rituals during my wedding. There was too much happening at the same time for me to grasp anything. Everything is just a blur, especially the rituals where we just did as we were told. The whole family drama, the relatives, the preparations to welcome a new bride and the customes to make her feel comfortable were all lost on me then. I was too pre-occupied with my feelings about the changes it would bring in my life.

However, when recently my brother-in-law got married I got a chance to live my wedding one more time…and truely enjoy it this time! Having been close to both bride and groom, I got an insider view of the preparations on both side. As they went through the selection of different things to begin their new life I remembered having endless discussions with my then would-be husband about what all we should buy now and what all we will buy later – together…all the while taking advise from my sisters, mother and good friends. Then came the smallest of rituals which all hold some meaning to bless us and prepare us for the new life we are about to step into.

Watching them from the outside this time I could see it all in flashback. I could see myself as the excited bride, all decked up, following every ritual in earnest, clearly enjoying the attention :-)! I could see my husband looking handsome in his Sherwaani and smiling to the world at large (more to himself 😉 ). I saw us hunched up next the the holy fire during the Pheras listening devoutly to the Mantras being recited for us…but really hearing and understanding them now.

Then came the homecoming of the bride and the nervous excitment of my in-laws about making the new bride feel at home in the new household. I saw for the first time how they were all earnestly making an effort to put the best foot forward and welcome the new bride. I was taken back to my first few days in this new family every where small details had been taken into consideration to ensure a smooth ride for me. I was touched all over again as my mother-in-law made a list of all the things that should be kept in the new room to ensure she didnt have to ask for anything and remembered that I too had found everything ready for me. I remember how on the 2nd day my father-in-law had declared that now I would come before my husband in his consideration so I should never hesitate to come to him if I ever had a problem or complain about my husband.  Everything now made so much sense and brought tears in my eyes coz for the first time I could see my in-laws and my own parents.

A special mention goes to my elder sister-in-law. Having come to the family first she had survived in a household totally unprepared for a girl’s presence. Her suggestion to my mother-in-law to make certain arrangements to make us more comfortable were not lost on me. I understood that she was trying to give us everything she had to arrange for herself. Having benefitted from her thoughtfullness I took an active part in making the preparations to welcome our newest family member.

I am now much more a part of this family than I ever was. I now know that a groom’s family is just as excited, nervous and eager to include a new member in their family and their life as the bride is. I feel I am very lucky to have found not just the perfect husband but also the perfect family to spend the rest of my life with!

 
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Posted by on March 8, 2010 in Family, Feelings, Memories

 

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Freezing a moment in time…

I had one of the most wonderful experiences this weekend. One that i want to freeze in time so that it never grows old, never fades.

 

After a long wait I enjoyed my first monsoon shower…and the settiing was just perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better layout. There I was swinging merrily on a giganttic swing in a lavish verandah, my eyes closed, the cool cool breeze bringing in mild showers from the beautiful rain outside…the exotic smell of wet earth filling my senses, and the lush greenery totally enveloping me in a fragrant embrace!!!!! WOWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!

 rain

To make the picture complete, I was with some of my closets family people…who for a change I happen to really like and have a good time with. Growing up in a nuclear family I never really knew the little joys of a joint family, of cousins, and aunts and uncles…I was so completely unaware of these things that I never even missed these things, coz i had never known them. Now I have a large family, we still have our own nuclear set-ups in different cities. Yet are so closely knit through the unconditional love that my husband and his brothers share between them that the distances don’t stand a chance.

 

Coming back to my beautiful rainy afternoon, while i sat on the swing and soaked in the freshness, I could hear voices of the three brothers and my sister-in-law chatting away happily, my neices sitting on my either side humming in their baby voices. Their voices mingled with the sound of rain added to the peaceful picture and gave me a feeling so intense that it gave me goose bumps. I felt a strong gush of completness for being a part of such a loving family.

Now I’m back to Mumbai and am sitting in an air conditioned room becuase the rain gods have still not bestowed thier blessing upon us 😦 But everytime i close my eyes I am taken back to that amazing moment in time…that perfect moment that I have frozen forever.

 
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Posted by on June 22, 2009 in Family, Feelings

 

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