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Being a Parent

I learned today the true meaning of being a parent…or maybe not. I’m also scared of what else this role of being a parent has in store for me. Because if this was not the worst…I shiver to think what else there is!

As a child I was very demanding…I needed my mom 24×7. When I woke up in the morning, when I came back from school, when I wanted to eat something, when I woke up from my afternoon nap, when I came back in the evening after play and when I went to bed at night…like I said 24×7! And she gave it all…she was there for me…and my two sisters. Today I am a mother myself, have my own set of challenges, priorities, needs, responsibilities and duties. And I find myself torn…torn between all of the above and giving my child what my mom gave me – her complete selfless devotion.

It is so difficult to find the right balance between loving and pampering, between suggesting and spoon feeding, between supporting and handholding. If I spend too much time with him he becomes too clingy, if I keep him away from myself I’m betraying his trust and letting him down. If I let him have his way I’m making him stubborn, if I’m firm with him I’m curbing his spirit.

A bird looks after her eggs till they hatch, feeds her little ones till they learn to fly and then forgets about them for the rest of her life…so do most of other animals and creatures in this world. Then why did God made us differently? Why did he not give us the strength to make our children independent and leave them to face the world on their own?

I hope I have the insight and understanding to give him everything he needs and yet teach him the value of what he has. For this I have to learn a few lessons like letting him go, letting him fall and pick himself up. I need to detach myself and play the role of a third person who is not his mom but a mentor, be firm yet kind, punish and reward at the same time.

I’m so scared!

 
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Posted by on April 16, 2010 in Daily Life, Feelings, Love

 

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The child in us!

Growing up is inevitable. As we grow we see a new life, meet new people, form new relationships while old relationships change. Our circle of life expands to include people who we sometimes conciously and sometimes unconciously select to take with us in our journey.

As grown ups we don’t jump in joy over a water bubble, as grown ups we don’t trail behind the toy train, as grown ups we don’t hit and get hit back by the Hit-me that’s double our size, as grown ups we don’t dance around the clapping joker.

 

While we add more and more people to our life we leave behind a very important person who was a part our very being. The one who made us laugh out loud without hesitation, the one who made us climb trees without fear, the one who made us cry without embarrassment. We grow apart from the one who shaped us into what we are today…the child in us.

 

But a chance encounter with this child can bring back so many memories, moist, bitter sweet memories that you never want to let go of that child again. I saw the child in my husband today.  

 

As he selected toys for our 1.5 year old son, I saw the child in him select all the toys that he wanted to buy so many years ago in that old toy store back in his home town. I could see the wonder in his eyes as he gazed with wonder at the dancing elephant, the colourful car, the giant Hit-Me and all the new toys. I could see his need to buy a train set that his dad had bought for him when he was just a child himself, and I could still see that joy on his face when he told me all about how the penguins ran up and down the tracks on a Penguin Race game.

 

I know he wants to give all that his dad gave him and much much more. I know he will be the best dad any child could ever have because I know he is still in touch with the child within.

 

tu479

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2009 in Daily Life, Family, Love

 

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