This summer I’m home and got nothing much to do except play with my baby and take care of him exactly the way I have been wanting to for a loooooong time. However, there are times when I sit back and analyse if this is how I want all my summers to be. And it was in between one of such analysis that the truth came to me. I’m very happy to be with my son (who is now 2.3 years old) and I’m very happy because for the first time my home is better managed and my family better fed than ever before, I’m happy that I have found time to get connected with my family with with whom I just had a passing relationship of one call in a few days.
I have also realised that I am not cut out for this role. I am not a home maker. I’m not a cook, as in I can cook, but it does not give me any special joy. I cannot go on decorating the house at length, I cannot go on depending someone else’s income to fulfill my wishes (Here I should point out that my husband will be very offended to hear this coz never in these 3 months has he ever made me feel unemployed).
I need to get out of the house, I need to meet people and I need cues around me to stimulate my thought process. When I was working I hardly had the time to blog for instance and I used to long for days when I could just browse the net, read about different things and write extensively. But if I look at the rate at which I have been blogging as compared to what it was while I was working its a hard reckoning! So I have realised this thing about my self that while I want to spend time with my family and do the best for people around me, I need to be in touch with the outside world.
So, I have made a promise to myself today that this is the only summer I am spending like this. I will make sure that I never lose touch with myself, my needs because until and unless I am happy with what I am doing I cannot make people around me happy.