RSS

Category Archives: Motherhood

Dream a little Dream

What do we have that we can truly call our own? Something that no one can take away from us. Our assets? Our possessions? Our friends? Family? I think not. Its our dreams, our vision of what we want to be, something we want to create. “If I can see it, then I can be it, If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it!” These are powerful words!

 

I saw a movie yesterday which made me rethink about how I live my life. How I begin my feeble chase after my dreams and give up at the slightest hurdle. It made me question my intentions. Nil Battey Sannata is a movie about perseverance, about dreams and about making your dreams come true!

 

The movie has such a refreshing approach it warmed my heart. A woman who works multiple jobs – house maid, factory worker, masala maker, and what not – has just one dream. She wants to see her daughter make something of her life. While the said daughter has no ambition of her own at all…in fact, on the contrary, does everything to make sure her mother’s plans for her fail. But the  quiet perseverance of this mother, the lengths she is ready to go to, is very very inspiring. Not once in the movie does she get any charity from her employers who have the means to do it for her or the Collector who, in his capacity, could made things work for her. They just nudge her in the right direction. And that too was a pleasant surprise. Because you see, it is very easy to step in and help someone in their struggle. But it takes a lot of wisdom to gently guide and help people stand on their own two feet. Because that is what will finally see them through.

 

I have a son and naturally I have many dreams for him too. Like all modern parents I also believe in giving him space and letting him find his own place, his own ambition in life. I hope that when time comes, I have the wisdom to not take over his life and railroad my dreams on him. And I hope that if he shows signs of complete lack of ambition, I have the patience and perseverance to teach him how to dream again and to work towards making them come true. A quote from the movie that stayed with me –

“Gareeb woh hota hai jiske paas koi sapna nahi hota”

 

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Flight to Freedom

All parents come to a stage where they want their kids to become independent and yet when the little things start to flutter their wings we want to snatch them back and hide them under our wings. I had one of these moments last week when my 8 year old went for a five day nature camp – (read: five days without me!) I think the excitement he displayed  and the fear he showed was more for my benefit than any real anticipation.

 

It began with me making a list of things he would need during his camp…or let’s just say ‘things I thought he will need’. Most of the stuff I packed – raincoat (they had predicted rains!), socks, snacks, shampoo, etc. – came back  unused. I worried how he will pass the four-hour drive –  he made friends in the bus itself. I gave him tetra packs of milk – one for each morning – he had hot chocolate with his new friends. I worried he won’t get any sleep on a new bed – he slept all alone on his bunk bed and snuggled with one of the volunteers when he had a nightmare.

 

At first I was curious about his days there. Being so used to planning all his activities throughout the day, it was strange not knowing what he would be doing. I know I sound like a complete control freak!  I did not know what to do. Maybe I should have given him a bigger bag, maybe I should have packed some more snacks, maybe…so many things I should have done and had not done. Shocking stories one hears about older kids bullying young ones started plaguing  me the moment he was out of sight. I actually had a minor panic attack the day he left. My husband quietly held my hand and gave me the space I needed to let it wash over me. And then he told me it was going to be okay.

 

And you know what…it was okay. We survived! After the first day or two I was okay with not knowing what he was doing. I felt guilty about it. Maybe I should have been worried, sad, anxious, but I was not. Was I betraying my son by not feeling sad about him not being with me. I think not. Was I disappointed the camp had not called me once during the five days saying my son was missing me? Maybe a little ;-). My son came back all black and brown, with dirt under his finger nails and mud in his hair. But best thing he got with him was a huge smile on his elfin face!!! And that is priceless.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 23, 2016 in Family, Feelings, Motherhood

 

Tags:

Holiday Art!

Some cute art by my 6 year old to make Christmas holidays interesting…

Ice cream stick art and clay art by Siddharth

Ice cream stick house by Siddharth

20141015_103317

Birthday cake for dad!

20140908_171017

Octopus family…daddy, mommy and sid

20140901_170332-1

Ice cream stick Dragon Fly

20140901_165950

Ice Cream Stick Dragon Fly & Garden Stool

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 28, 2014 in Motherhood, Siddharth

 

Tags: , , , ,

Ramblings of a mother

Never have I been so conscious of my own shortcomings as I am now as a mother…to watch how I react every time I feel something. Then again, I think, by monitoring how I react, am I not killing my son’s spirit of spontaneity? While my lovely son has brought back the many delights of childhood in my adult life…the child in me longs for the freedom to be!

If I’m angry, I try not to show anger. If I am impatient over something, I try to be calm.  If I get a sudden fright, I try not to scream, lest I scare away the little one. If I get hurt, I do not howl, lest I’m teach my little one to howl every time he hurts himself. He is watching me at every step…every move I make becomes his role model to follow. Or adds to his confusion, because I am not perfect. But when I teach my kid, I teach him to be perfect. You should not cry over little things. You should not shout when angry or irritated. You should not run around when out. You should not hit someone just because they have annoyed you or taken your favourite toy before you could reach it! Etc. etc. etc… If my child goes to a shop and asks for things he likes, I tell him don’t pester. If he looks at things I know he likes and doesn’t ask for them he is suppressing his feelings because he has been taught not to pester.

I wonder why we lay so much stress on being good, doing the right thing, teaching the right behaviour? What happened to childlike spontaneity? Or is teaching behavior all about ingraining the childlike spontaneity with good reactions and actions?  What’s wrong, I say, with howling for 10 minutes when you hurt yourself? What’s wrong with hitting someone who has hit you? Oh! the confusion called motherhood.

At one end we teach our children to express freely, and in the same breath we teach them to monitor their feelings and not display extreme behavior. The balance between teaching good behavior and encouraging natural instinct is a fine line one needs to tread very carefully. The secret, I guess, is to guide and not teach or preach.  But who on earth has been able to unravel this secret?

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 29, 2012 in Daily Life, Feelings, Motherhood, People

 

Tags: , , , ,