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Category Archives: Memories

Entering a New Life!

I hardly remember enjoying the rituals during my wedding. There was too much happening at the same time for me to grasp anything. Everything is just a blur, especially the rituals where we just did as we were told. The whole family drama, the relatives, the preparations to welcome a new bride and the customes to make her feel comfortable were all lost on me then. I was too pre-occupied with my feelings about the changes it would bring in my life.

However, when recently my brother-in-law got married I got a chance to live my wedding one more time…and truely enjoy it this time! Having been close to both bride and groom, I got an insider view of the preparations on both side. As they went through the selection of different things to begin their new life I remembered having endless discussions with my then would-be husband about what all we should buy now and what all we will buy later – together…all the while taking advise from my sisters, mother and good friends. Then came the smallest of rituals which all hold some meaning to bless us and prepare us for the new life we are about to step into.

Watching them from the outside this time I could see it all in flashback. I could see myself as the excited bride, all decked up, following every ritual in earnest, clearly enjoying the attention :-)! I could see my husband looking handsome in his Sherwaani and smiling to the world at large (more to himself 😉 ). I saw us hunched up next the the holy fire during the Pheras listening devoutly to the Mantras being recited for us…but really hearing and understanding them now.

Then came the homecoming of the bride and the nervous excitment of my in-laws about making the new bride feel at home in the new household. I saw for the first time how they were all earnestly making an effort to put the best foot forward and welcome the new bride. I was taken back to my first few days in this new family every where small details had been taken into consideration to ensure a smooth ride for me. I was touched all over again as my mother-in-law made a list of all the things that should be kept in the new room to ensure she didnt have to ask for anything and remembered that I too had found everything ready for me. I remember how on the 2nd day my father-in-law had declared that now I would come before my husband in his consideration so I should never hesitate to come to him if I ever had a problem or complain about my husband.  Everything now made so much sense and brought tears in my eyes coz for the first time I could see my in-laws and my own parents.

A special mention goes to my elder sister-in-law. Having come to the family first she had survived in a household totally unprepared for a girl’s presence. Her suggestion to my mother-in-law to make certain arrangements to make us more comfortable were not lost on me. I understood that she was trying to give us everything she had to arrange for herself. Having benefitted from her thoughtfullness I took an active part in making the preparations to welcome our newest family member.

I am now much more a part of this family than I ever was. I now know that a groom’s family is just as excited, nervous and eager to include a new member in their family and their life as the bride is. I feel I am very lucky to have found not just the perfect husband but also the perfect family to spend the rest of my life with!

 
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Posted by on March 8, 2010 in Family, Feelings, Memories

 

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Is it really a bad Omen?

I was born on a solar eclipse day. It was considered to be one of the major ones. My mother shares her memories of the day when she was in the hospital with me and my father was at home with my two elder sisters to make sure they don’t venture out.

 

People have a lot of theories, some scientific and some religious/traditional of how a solar eclipse can effect babies that are in the womb and even new born babies. Some talk about physical abnormalities and some talk about mental abnormalities. Since I was born on a solar eclipse day i have found the perfect excuse for all my essectricities 😀

 

On a serious note, one wonders what people in the stone ages thought and felt during a solar eclipse. For people who thought that thunder and rain were punishments from god, one can only imagine what a solar eclipse could mean. To some it was a bad omen. That was then, when there no science to prove the process and reasons for it. What is surprising is how even today educated people believe in the old norms and beliefs and consider this scientific marvel to be a bad omen.

 

Considering my personal example, my parents could have taken my birth to be a bad omen, as I was a third daughter after my two elde sisters. My mother could have suffered a lot for giving birth to a cursed daughter in the family. Thankfully, my family, though not very educated, was sensible enough to not torture her, and i think it helped that I turned out to be physically and mentally fit.  In fact, as I grew up my father called  me his ‘Lucky Daughter’ as he felt that our life took an upwards turn after my birth.

 

My mother and I may have been lucky these superstitions still exist. Why don’t people accept the change and understand that somethign happening thousands of miles away in the space cannot change the gender of a baby lying in a woman’s womb?

 

This year the solar eclipse was a major event across the world. Millions of people got up early to catch it, the net is flooded with images of the diamond ring and videos of the eclipse. However, this is still the scene in urban India. I hope that by the time it happens the next time the world has progressed enough to take it as another scientific occurance or even as another of god’s creations, rather than a bad omen.

 

Old newspaper cut-out of a solar eclipse some 3 decades ago

Old newspaper cut-out of a solar eclipse some 3 decades ago

 
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Posted by on July 22, 2009 in Current Affairs, Memories, Nature

 

Purani Jeans…

Today I feel like going down the lanes of my Delhi university campus. I still remember how the beautiful and evergreen campus comes alive during this season. I have spent 3 beautiful monsoons there and can never forget the beautiful walks down the campus lanes in the season. I remember my first year. The colleges had just started (they start usually around July 15th) right in the middle of the rainy season. We would sit in the college campus under those huge trees that speard themselves tall & wide, have hot tea from the canteen and spend hours chatting, talking, watching people and doing basically nothing!  This was the first time I was enjoying the rainy season…

 

We would go visiting our friends in other colleges which are never more than a pleasant walk apart from one another. I loved to walk down to my bus stop outside the Khalsa college…which was quite a long walk (from Hansraj to Khalsa). I would have my regular stops in between – the D-school chaiwalla, the Law Faculty chaiwalla, the aloo-chaat walla, the ice-cream walla outside Miranda College…It would take me nearly an hour to reach my bus stop.  I remember climbing on trees in D-school and there was one in Hansraj, behind the photostat guy…which I climbed on with my friends from the dram-soc while our scripts were getting xeroxed. That’s where I wuld climb and tease my then boyfriend (now my husband) who would be sitting in his class trying hard to concentrate 😉

 

I remember my first outstation trip with friends…it was to IIT Kanpur for their annual festival – Antragini. It was just awesome…3 days of complete freedom for the first time in my life and I enjoyed every moment of it…not to mention the festival itself too 🙂 and I felt that nothing could top this…but that was before my visit to BITTS Pilani. I went there in my 2nd year.

 

Those 5 days in Pilani were like being on a different planet altogether…a planet where only the youth resided, a planet that had no parents, no deadlines, no assignments, no restrictions…it was a heady mix of fun, freedom and youth!!! I had some of the most memorable times there…ones that I am not likely to forgte in this lifetime.

 

3rd year dawned with the usual uncertainity about studies, careers, friednships, relationships. Preparing for MBA entrance, coz everyone seemd to be doing so…not that i cleared any, applying to various PG colleges, talking to seniors, professors, anyone who could give us some guidance about what should be the best course to follow. The uncertainity was too much. Then came the bittersweet memories of parting with friends, partying hard together one last time so that the memories never fade, the goodbyes and promises to keep in touch. I was sad coz I was losing a lot of my friends, excited coz I was curious what life had in store for me, wary coz I was not sure if the path I had chose was the right one for me…but I knew I’d be fine coz I had learned to take care of myself.

 

Its been 7 years since that last day. Today I have a family of my own, a promising job (my chosen path turned out to be the right one for me), a good bunch of those old pals who I am still in touch with. When I look back now, I know I will never forget those days…they are tucked soundly in my memories for ready reference whenever I feel like visiting those lanes again…

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2009 in Feelings, friends, Memories

 

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